Everywhere I look on Instagram it's all about Dry January! And while I am all about people making healthy choices I cannot help but be slightly annoyed by this concept, which I daresay is another trendy movement that everyone is getting on board with. Including myself. 

After a very long, personally painful, professionally satisfying, overly stressful, jam packed year, I realized that I had been drinking a little bit more than I am comfortable with. It was all too easy to drown my feelings in order to deal with the problems which arose very frequently, all damn year long. So, after New Years eve, I went dry. 

So here I am on Jan. 15, and as of this blog article, I have not had a drop of the good stuff. Some days it's easy peasy, others, not so much. I miss making a gin cocktail on Friday night! I want to sip on my delicious daquiri and feel the silky liquid go down my gullet without guilt.  Why is it that I feel guilty about indulging? Is it my upbringing in Utah which made me to believe that anyone who drank is a devil worshipper? Is it that deep seeded subconscious from back in the day telling me I'm a bad person for drinking? Perhaps it is the long line of alcoholics I am proud to come from and was always warned to be careful not to become? It is probably all the above, but my love/hate relationship with cocktails and alcohol is complex and never ending.

I'm not going to lie, I feel fantastic! I am more energized because I am sleeping like a baby. I feel laser sharp and on top of things. I am clear headed and ready to go every morning, with gusto and pep. I am being diligent about my diet and exercise routines and I have even lost a little weight, yippee! All that aside, I still want a cocktail.

I want to sip on the lovely flavors of citrus, orgeat, coconut, pineapple, vanilla, spices, and all the luscious flavors a great cocktail can embody. Feeling the warming sensation a great cocktail or straight spirit gives my belly and whole body....divine. Oh, god how I want to sip on that. I want to try all the new cocktail recipes that are popping up on social media, and yes, there are still many to be tried. But alas, I will not.

I can however make mocktails using some of the syrups and mixers from the great selection I have. I'm thinking a nice latte using a bright Chai syrup, or a hot toddy with fresh lemon to sooth my bones on a cold January night. There are a lot of options in the mocktail world for the sober-curious.  

In the meantime, I will stay true to my booze-free commitment, my dry January goal and reap the benefits. However, I will do it kicking and screaming.